Sunday, 15 August 2010

How to Lose Friends & Alienate People

We see many people around us everyday. And we relate ourselves with them through various relations - family, friends, best friends, wife , husband, son,daughter ... the list is never ending. Some People people stick with us throughout the life whom we call family. Maybe it is how the world exists. Some people find us inside themselves and come near to us, they are friends. And very few cross the boundary of resistance which we draw around us , enter in our lives and becomes the necessity of our life. We never know the growth of affection for them and they become best friends. It is a very revolving process wherein we took lots of time to have such feeling for those fellas. And suddenly as day passes by we feel the bonding getting stronger and stronger and suddenly time comes (which we never know) when we start telling , suggesting everything to them, the smallest thing which we do, we feel like taking their opinion. May be this is what people call as Best Friends.

It takes months of journey , may be years to feel that he / she is the one and we with each passing day we become so casual , we stop thinking things from their perspective, with having the belief that they are us, we are them. And this is the phase when unknowingly you start alienating your best friends. We always have the confidence that he doesn't need our special show of affection as he understands us as we do ourselves. And he starts feeling the sense of ignorance which of course is not true. And this is the time when they start drifting away , you without knowing that what is happening. It starts from very small things , you start feeling that you are being ignored but in fact the reality is that your friends are drifting away as you do not have time for them, as if you no more care for them . Some people are very good at it who behave based on the nature of their friends, but the unlucky ones doesn't realize it and when they realize they feel so ashamed of themselves that they just cant stand it and start suffering the loneliness , cursing themselves, making points to prove themselves. The more they get involved in such things the more they get drifted away. It ultimately disappoints them, discourages them , the friends think that they shouldn't have given him that place and there comes the end.

Here starts the process of loosing friends and alienating people. We reach to the point where there is no come back . Whole life we have to live with the guilt feeling that we couldn't save the friends whom we would have treasured and it leaves a strong itching feeling deep inside the heart. We meet with the same people everyday , do pleasantries and show as if nothing has happened , without knowing or understanding the feelings of those around us, the same-ones who use to make out things with our face seems strangers. The same people whom we believed we understand very well becomes alien for us. We meet but the same boundary wall comes between us which has taken months / years of time to break. The pain of loosing them hurts a lot but we start living with it because none other than us have alienated them.

Changes are inevitable. The friends are the same , but the attitude has changed. We still are friends and share things , may be hide our secrets now, the same secrets which at some point of time was the ,ost important thing to share, and we behave as nothing has happened , though knowing deep inside that the affection has somehow decreased from either side. And the worst is we cannot do anything, may be this is the way life goes on, we take years to build a bridge and a small torment act drift people away from us.

There is nothing right or wrong here, its just a way of nature to give us experience in life, to make us feel that we cannot avoid almighty's presence in life. If HE had sent that friend as a saviour in life , HE can take it away whenever HE wants and we just have to accept it.

Life goes on... SOmetimes we alienate friends sometimes we get alienated, either way we both get hurt. If given a chance we should always try to rectify the mistakes which we had made, even if sometimes we feel that we were right, we should acknowledge it as our mistake to save the precious gems of our lives. If we do not do it, or get late in accepting it, I bet we loose. We lose the ones with whom we had enjoyed the best of our times, who had brought out the best of us and have branded us the best...

Never be late, else afterwards you always end up searching what could have made you Lose the friends and Alienate people.

Friday, 19 March 2010

What is Life ?

What is Life ?

I simply googled it and came across some very interesting definitions of Life.
Wiki says : "Life is a characteristic that distinguishes objects that have self-sustaining biological processes from those that do not–either because such functions have ceased (death), or else because they lack such functions and are classified as inanimate."

Some other definitio says :
Definition: The state of being which begins with generation, birth, or germination, and ends with death; also, the time during which this state continues; that state of an animal or plant in which all or any of its organs are capable of performing all or any of their functions; used of all animal and vegetable organisms.

Very intriguing question , right? So many people are living their life,I do , you do ... still not knowing exactly what life is ! And every moment we live it, talk to it, talk about it and feel it still unaware what is it !

We slog ourself throughout the timespan (called Life) without knowig the essence of it. We simply live because it is life and we have to...in the same manner as we eat,breathe and drink.
We breathe beacuse it is life, we eat nd drink because it is life. We love someone because it is life, we suffer sometimes bcause it is life. We do good, we do bad, we laugh we cry...All because it is Life. Since we are living we do it.

Is this the only thing life is meant for. We feel happiness, we feel joy, we sometimes suffer,cry... is that life ?

We say we understand people, we give opinion about people, we like them ,dislike them .

Continued...

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

The least known Bihar and Biharis

When I reached home today , I was in a feirced mood today. And I was struggling or say was soul searching for the mentality of people and their annotation of the way they interpret Bihar and Biharis. I could not understand if it is their frustration or the dumbness about acknowlodging the capabilities of the people of Bihar. When Raj Thackrey started the rampage against the north indians ( Biharis and UP wale Bhaiyas), the whole nation was shocked. But now I feel he is far better than the ones who sit side by side with us and say something very humiliating but with sweetness and leave us wondering what the real intention was ! At least that guy (refer Raj Thackrey) accepted publically that you are superior than us and hence grabbing the opportunities better than us, thinking of Maharashtra as his own private property, not thinking of the versatilities of the great country INDIA, where people are free to move to the place oif their desire.

Anyways, since I was feeling furious today, because someone had commented on the people selling items on the footpath as "He is your Bihari", I was wondering what is wrong with that. Even if he was Bihari, I felt great respect for that person, or for all those people who stay away from their family , their people in far away wonderland to make career or to feed their poverty striken family in their native. People refer the term Bihari as someone who is poor, illiterate , naive and overall dumb.

This message is for those who thinks they are smart enough and so called intelligent, litterate and advance - turn around your head guys and see the people who are sitting beside you or are so called beaurocrats around you. You will see a good number of such peoples are the ones who hails from the great land of ancient India which has taught not only literature, but science, medicine , socialism, budhhism, jainism, patriotism and foremost humanism to the whole world.

If you think that you are the most intelligent guy, then go and check the results of IITs and IAS. In the top 10 you will find a couple of Biharis . If you think that you are doing good in your career , then turn back to your college mates and see those who have hailed from a place having no electricity and became your class topper and now exceling in the field where they have put their feet.

This was not something for showing someone down, but is for realizing that dude Biharis are hard working and they excell because they have desire. And not to mention, from a poor footpath vendor to a Software Engineer, from a small businessman to a high profile beaurocrat, everyone feels proud when you think of them as a Bihari in the far wonderland of a city like Bangalore or Mumbai. You haven't seen poverty so you can not realise or cherish the happiness when 2K of your monthly saving makes the life lot easier for the family staying in a far land.

From the ancient history to the current modern world, there a lot of examples which can make feel you inferior when you compare yourself from Biharis . To name a few are :

Ancient India :
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* The first republic given to the modern World - Bihar
* The most practicised religion in East Asia - Budhhism - Origin and Originator - Gautam Budhh , Bihar
* Jainism - Lord Mahavir - Bihar
* Sikhism - Guru Govind Singh Jee - Bihar
* Ramayan - Saint Valmiki - Bihar
* Hinduism - Maata Sita - Janakpuri - Bihar
* Science - Aryabhatta - Bihar
* Economics and Political Science - Pioneer - Chanakya - Bihar
* World's Greatest Ruler - Ashoka 'the Great' - Bihar
* Capital of Ancient India - Patliputra - Now Patna - Bihar
* Lessons of Love - Kamasutra - Vatsyanan - Bihar
* Islamic Scholar - Shams-ul-haq Azeemabadi - Bihar
* First University in world with more than 10000 scholar - Nalanda University - Bihar

Modern India :
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* India's first President - Dr. Rajendra Prasad - Bihar - Just to mention, he was the person whose examiner had written on the answer sheet - "The examinee is much more intelligent than the examiner" - The only president who had completed 2 terms at the Rashtrapati Bhavan (12 years).

* India's Second Prime Minister - Dr. Lal Bahadur Shastry - Bihar
* India's National Poet - Sri Ramdhari Singh Dinkar - Bihar
* The person who opposed the dictatorship of Congress in Indian politics and brought an end to it - Dr. Jay Prakash Narayan (known as JP, the JP movement 1977) - Bihar
* First Freedom Fight - 1857 - Veer Kunwar Singh - Bihar
* India's most talked about sport - Cricket - Current and the most successful captain who has brought 20-20 Cricket Worldcup to India - Mahendra Singh Dhoni (Bihar - now Jharkhand).
* "Papa Kahte hai Bada Naam Karega" - The most aspiring song for anybody - Composed by Anand Milind - Bihar
* The same song - Sung by notrious singer - Udit Narayan - Bihar
* The person who changed the face of Indian Railway (when it was about to go Bankrupt) and made a landmark for today's corporate, a test case study in Howard Business School - Lalu Prasad Yadav - A poor from the backward community - Bihar - A lawyer by education. He is B.A.L.L.B, from patna university. Donot judge a book by its cover.

Some Stats :

* PATNA — Over 10,000 students have qualified in the IIT Joint Entrance Examination this year 2009.


There is much more to write , but this is not what I want to communicate. No offences meant.
But instead of thinking India as Bihari, Bengali orMarathi, North Indian or South Indian, try to being an Indian.